So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Randomize
