one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
