Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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