i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
