Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
