I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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