Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
