Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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