O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
