Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
