so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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