The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
