More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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