you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
