I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
