I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
