shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I will be naked everywhere
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
