it was like his penis was on wheels.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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