My first STD was from a foam party
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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