Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
