Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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