next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
