wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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