Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
