I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize