Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
