yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
