I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
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