I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
third nipple confirmed
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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