I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
