I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
