Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize
