its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
