just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
