Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I need to calm my uterus...
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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