So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
