I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
It's blow job season.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
