everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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