Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Found your dick twin last night
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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