life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
