Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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