we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
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