if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize