who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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