His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
