I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
