Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
So vagazzling was a success
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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