I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
