is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
