Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
