worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
