Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
