haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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