peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
