dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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