You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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