ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
