and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
