My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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