why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
