U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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