he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
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