I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
