Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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