I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
