Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
