I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
