Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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