so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
