it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
