Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
sarcasm needs its own font
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
