how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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