Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
