my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
It's official drugs can't kill me
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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