I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
