I'm gonna have a badass scar
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
