Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
