i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
